Enneagram + MBTI Portraits – Type Eight

We started with the gut centre and are done with One. Now moving on to Eight.

8w7: Devil-may-care attitude. The renegade. These individuals view power as a means of maintaining their autonomy and not as a means of influence. This is not the kind of anger that lasts long. After externalized expressions of anger and conflict, they buy a round of drinks and expect everything to be okay. They are so charming, unpretentious and direct that this approach actually ends up working for them. Bold, innovative and fearless folk. May have trouble with commitment in relationships. Addictive personalities. Crave sensory stimulants to feel alive. Likely to run into trouble with law and authority figures. When they evolve, they tend to focus their expansive, direct energy to care for people. They can be incredibly warm, gregarious and perceptive people. Unhealthy, they withdraw fearfully and retreat into inaction till they feel they equipped with all the knowledge to act in real world situations. They can be extra hard on themselves at their perceived inability to do so.

8w9: Amass power quietly. Gravitate towards positions of leadership. Protective and assertive. Their anger lasts longer than that of an 8w9. It is more of a simmering rage that can take a while to explode. The rumbling of the storm will be heard long before it hits, so the dazed individual who is hit cannot pretend they didn’t see it coming. For this very reason, Eights are very conscious of their anger and power; they tightly reign it in until some idiot pushes back the boundaries one too many times. Even younger individuals of this type are looked upon with favor and respect because of the quiet strength they exude when they enter a room. When healthy, these individuals will be calm, bold, focused and productive while unhealthy individuals spiral into paranoia and suffer inertia induced by analysis-paralysis.

Eights and the Perceiving function axis:

NeSi / SiNe: Marked defiance towards Si adherence. Ne has a more pragmatic tilt. Ne visions to come to fruition. In high Si individuals, this makes them more daring and quick to act in the moment (7) or react slowly with measured spurts of anger (9) when they encounter opposition.

Se/Ni / Ni/Se: Strengthened Se makes them adrenaline junkies. In high Ni users, it makes them quick to act/react without being trapped in their minds for too long, which is a common issue with high Ni which seeks to internalize, analyze data and then act conclusively. Makes INXJs more extroverted (7). Makes INXJs excellent planners, with a focus on promoting shared, universal values (9).

Eights and the Judging function axis:

FiTe / TeFi: This combination will strengthen the punitive streak to crush defiance and rule with an iron fist, if need be. It will also bring about an uninhibited and direct expression of Fi outrage in clear Te terms, without mincing words. A Nine wing may soften the blow. Otherwise, these individuals firmly believe in retribution rather than forgiveness. (I think one or both of my grandfathers were probably this type, which explains so much of our dynamics in my formative years.)

FeTi / TiFe: Fe expression is all about the power dynamics. If they are the ones giving the care and attention, they believe themselves to have the upper hand. Not able to immerse themselves in the joy of receiving care and allowing themselves to be emotionally vulnerable and share feelings with their loved ones. Higher Ti users may be mistaken for Te users because of similarity in superficial presentation. These TPs may appear rude, blunt, cocky and inconsiderate because of weaker Fe. May turn intellectual discussions into an aggressive debate or argument, inviting defiance from opposition. They will do it for fun (7), or to unanimously establish themselves as the alpha (9). However, when an adversary of equal strength bests them on the grounds of merit, they will respect that and concede.

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Enneagram + MBTI Portraits – Type One

1w2: Has a strong sense of fairness and justice. Always has a critical eye out for how things could be improved. Tendency to be fussy, nitpicky and a perfectionist. The role model who leads by examine, and gently corrects their friends, because that is their way of showing affection. The mom who makes sure her kid’s tie is never askew, and Hermione correcting the boys’ homework are prime examples of this kind of behavior. The altruistic leader. Ones tend to rationalize to justify their behavior, like telling themselves they were only correcting their friend’s grammar so their friend would not be laughed at by others. So, they actually were protecting them. That’s how they give themselves a pat on the back, deserved or not. When they are healthy, they grow towards Seven where their mental horizons are widened. They are not so limited by adherence to rules, they are able to enjoy the moment and confidently handle situations by improvising creatively. Unhealthy, they become hyper-emotional, sensitive, manipulative caricatures of themselves. Might even be prone to violence that they might justify saying “He/she deserved it because they broke the rules.”

1w9: Rational. Detached. Peace seeking. Mediator. The Mentor. “How can I make the world a better place?” is often one of the concerns that haunts these individuals. They strive to do the right thing, they are self-sacrificing individuals who will do so keeping collective welfare in mind. When healthy, they are able to synthesize ideas and re-frame new experiences to share their values and teachings universally. Unhealthy, they become emotional, sensitive, suspicious and mistrustful of the social order. They disconnect from their sense of idealism about the world and shut themselves off, feeding off of their paranoia and are unable to see the light.

Ones and the Perceiving function axis:

NeSi / SiNe: Strong Si adherence to customs, traditions and rules. Integration strengthens Ne as they are able to think better innovatively and open themselves up to a wide variety of experiences and perspectives. These functions may be used to think of and manifest ways in which things can be bettered, how the individual may gain the love and approval of people (2), or gain an indispensable position in their lives (9).

SeNi / NiSe: Enjoyment in the moment and seizing opportunities swiftly (Se) is tempered by the urge to do the right thing, or do things the right way. Long range strategy formation (Ni) is colored by a strong moral framework regardless of the judging axis of that particular type. It brings out more of a focus on people and emotions (2), or on universal harmony and acceptance (9).

Ones and the Judging function axis:

FiTe / TeFi: Strengthens the Fi sense of morals, and adds a punitive streak. The Two wing brings in a greater degree of concern towards individuals, while the Nine wing amplifies the concern and brings the whole of humanity under its ambit. The Nine wing mutes Fi self-expression in favor of maintaining calm, peace and harmony. The punitive streak is watered down in favor of a solution-oriented unifying approach.

FeTi / TiFe: They come to expect perfect behavior from the people in their lives, and if that is not the case, they will willingly try to “help and reform” their loved ones. They will rationalize their actions with lower Ti (FJs) as being done for the greater good. With higher Ti, they can become even more nitpicky in wanting everything precise and just so. The Two wing softens this with better Fe in TP types. TP types are also bound to cause themselves needless anguish by being extra hard on themselves to secure external affirmation (low Fe issues + Two wing) or struggle with self expression because they feel they are not able to dissent without being rude, or being judged. As they feel more and more unable to modulate their emotional expression, the TPs just withdraw.

Why am I doing Enneagram Portraits?

I just became a Mod/Admin of a page that I had been haunting for years. I am excited and enjoying this opportunity to not just delve deeper into Enneagram, but also use my knowledge to help others. It has also led to greater self excavation which in turn led to the painful shattering of some powerful, closely held wrong notions about myself, my beliefs and opinions. I have plumbed the depths and come out with fresh understanding. It has taken a lot of reminiscence, introspection and even a meltdown to get to this point where I see things clearer than ever. While to the uninitiated, Enneagram can appear a shaky system at best and a fraudulent, illogical and convoluted system in the worst case scenario; it is dawning upon me that the only way to understand Enneagram is honesty in knowing oneself. It is not going to be pretty when you are hit with that understanding. One of my friends said “Damn, I feel called out” when I described the influence of the core type and the tritype on her behaviour, along with how it affects the manifestation of her cognitive processes.

Enneagram basically has nine points of integration and disintegration, it speaks of a person’s spiritual evolution. Each core type has a specific set of fears, desires, motivation that drives the individual. These core types are also influenced by another number in their vicinity, called the wing of that type. Tritype provides a more comprehensive analysis. The Enneagram divides the nine types and places them in three “centers”: The Head centre, The Heart centre, and The Gut centre.

The Head centre is how an individual mainly handles fear and anxiety. If fear or anxiety is a person’s main driver, it will influence the way they act and react as well. For example, Fives are extremely slow to act because they have a deep fear of not possessing all the knowledge required to handle the situation deftly. The types that fall within the Head centre are Five, Six and Seven. This fear that drives Fives makes them loners, cynical, investigative deep thinkers. Prone to social introversion because they feel safer living in their minds where they don’t have to face the threat of being called upon to act, or be overwhelmed with expectations or having to perform in the real world without back-up. Sixes are the pure thinkers of this centre, always scanning for logical inconsistencies in situations and people. They are the first to tell when something is off. This is because despite being deeply loyal and community oriented folk, they always fear being betrayed. It is this fear that keeps them up at night, and drives them to frequently keep tabs. What they seek most of all is security and stability. Hence they will cling to people and societal systems that will help assuage their anxiety. Meanwhile, Sevens have such a crippling fear of being tied down , losing their freedom or getting stuck in a rut or painful situation that they become masters of reframing situations positively. They are seen as the positive, happy go lucky, action oriented individuals who always keep it light and fun. Carrie Fisher was probably a Seven who said “If my life wasn’t funny it would just be true, and that is unacceptable.” They substitute plumbing for emotional depth with chasing new experiences. Commonly identify as social extroverts.

The Heart centre tackles issues of love, shame, acceptance, self and identity. The numbers in the Heart centre are: Two, Three and Four. Two is driven to entirely create their identity in that of the ones they love and the role they play in their lives (Molly Weasley being a typical Two is defined by her nurturing and caring qualities) while Four strives to create a unique identity in order to compensate for the sense of loss and deficiency, envy that they operate from. Threes completely lack any sense of self, because they are image oriented, and driven by notions of success, popularity which can be measured in tangible, objective terms.  Their main fear is failure, Monica Geller from Friends is a wonderful tragicomic example of a Three whose drive to succeed is also what makes her neurotic. Threes have to be seen as the biggest and best in whatever they do. Style over substance for these ego maniacs.

Gut centre is the place where anger comes from. The types that fall in the gut centre are Eight, Nine and One. Eights report feeling their entire body thrumming with energy when they start to sense the warmth of anger build up steadily in their bodies. Nines actively practise self erasure in order to promote universal peace, harmony and will deny themselves expression of their anger so as to not disrupt the social order. Ones are slow to anger, and will generally never strike unless struck first. When morally outraged, Ones can rise to the occasion and deliver justice swiftly. It is then that their anger resembles that of an Eight. But while Eights thrive in the expression of anger and conflict, Ones always prefer the high road and regret externalized expressions of anger.

These are the basics, and because I was announced as the Enneagram mod, I am preparing a set of profiles for each type and wing which will streamline the system. I used to get a ton of asks requesting descriptions. These unveiled the innate narcissism of humanity which greatly amused me. I am creating Enneagram Portraits to avoid answering the same questions over and over again. For the purposes of my own understanding (and perhaps this might end up helping someone), I will be keeping personal notes here as well.

One of my favourite questions to ask people when I am taking an interest in them is this – What does your mind palace look like? I have always used a bunch of metaphors including a cordoned off Chrismassy section of Oz (or what might be Christmas as witnessed by Jack Skellington in the Nightmare before Christmas) to describe my own. Till today, that’s what I thought it was.

However in the midst of an extremely emotionally overwhelming time, and after suffering a sensory overload, these images are revealing themselves to me. Somewhat to my dismay, there is a heavy influence of the Bollywood movies I have grown up watching. But otherwise, I must say I am quite pleased with the aesthetics of my mind palace. It has lavish interiors. There are a lot of mirrors, silk screens and hidden chambers here. The colour schemes used are russet, pale gold and a wave of other warm hues. They come together beautifully but I hear the wind picking up outside. Objects inside the house are being rattled. One swipe of the Cosmic Paw, and it falls to the floor. But, no time to cry over a broken vase.

The White Room (Part One)

Krish woke up with a start. His breath smelled like shit and his body ached all over. He tried to move his legs around and found that he could not. He looked around in panic. He was in a too pristine room, it was as if it had been stripped forcibly of everything. Chills ran through his body. He was strapped to a metallic bed with a thin mattress. Thin but strong cords snaked around his wrists and ankles, preventing any kind of movement. There was a sense of nothingness to the room. It smelled of nothing. There was nobody, it had no windows. It was just lit up by the garish glow of artificial lights. He heard footsteps in the distance. That’s when he first registered the two chairs by his bedside. He was connected to a strange looking machine that had multiple buttons, labelled FP2, T3, T4, F7, P4 etc. He racked his brains to come up with an explanation. How had this happened? Where was he? What was that strange machine? He had been divested of his clothing and was wearing what appeared to be standard hospital garb. The first thought that came to his mind was organ trafficking. Unnerved, he looked for evidence to support that possibility. A few feet away lay a door and panels of what appeared to be translucent glass. He could make out two or three shadowy outlines. He decided to lie still and pretend to be asleep.

“No, Mr. Sharma. No use pretending to be asleep. We know what you are thinking” The motion sensor operated doors opened and in came two people wearing white coats. One was a balding man in his late forties or early fifties with a wiry build, and the other was a woman wearing a red baseball cap, jeans and a black t-shirt. The woman held his attention immediately. That gait, those hands! The curve of her lips, he didn’t know why but Krish instantly felt like he knew that woman.

“I see that you remember Dr. Nirali”. The man spoke in an amused tone. “I know you!” Krish blurted out. “No you don’t, Mr. Sharma. Let me take your vitals and EEG. Please relax.” she said, without removing her cap. “Show me your face! Where am I? Who are you people?” he demanded to know. She went about wordlessly, while he kept throwing questions at them. “Please stay still, this will hurt.” she said, swiftly jabbing a needle into his side.

“WHAT DID YOU INJECT ME WITH? I don’t know who you are, but let me tell you that I have a very wealthy brother who will pay anything for my release. Please, let me go.” Krish’s bravado left him and he broke down, terrified at what they would do to him next.  “Shut up” she said, the composure in her voice cracking. Her voice had an icy edge to it. Completely belying it was the warmth of her grip on his shoulder as she pressed him down, her lips close to his ear whispering without barely moving “Stay neutral because they can read your thoughts via emotional cues”. He forced himself to do as she said, reluctantly trusting her despite his misgivings. The man said “You are at Paramjyothi.”

“What! You have put me in an abandoned mental hospital? You cannot illegally detain me like this!” Krish screamed. “You are mistaken” the man said silkily. “It is neither a mental hospital, nor is it abandoned. It is a research facility. Not everyone in the experimentation cells is… cooperative like you. You have been very good.” The man patted his left shoulder. Krish’s eyes pooled with tears of rage and helplessness. “Remove these chains and then take me on, you bastard!” he cried out, voice choked with emotion.

“Oh but it wouldn’t be a fair fight, Mr. Sharma.” he said, moving his white coat to the side an inch or two to show Krish the concealed weapon he was carrying.” What kind of scientist carries guns? Who are you guys really? Why did you bring me here? Where am I? Please tell me.” Krish said, looking at Nirali. “We are not at liberty to answer those questions” she said stiffly. “Then who is? I demand to see whoever is in charge here” he stated firmly.

The doors slid open to reveal a man in his late thirties, in a dark suit, hair parted mussily to the side. One ear was pierced. He strode in confidently like a man who knew his way about the place. He had eyes for none but Nirali, and came to a halt where she stood. “Hello darling” he said, pulling her to him for a swift kiss. “Saad, my good man. I hope you won’t mind if I don’t kiss you” The two men laughed, while her lips quirked upwards in the semblance of a smile. Something twisted painfully in Krish’s gut.

“Anil Anna, you know these people? I don’t understand.” The smile disappeared from the man’s face as he turned to Krish. “Ah, little bro. Hello to you too. Vitals stable? EEG okay? He hasn’t been giving too much trouble? Does the dosage need to be increased, Saad?” She passed him the files, while the latter replied unctuously “No Sir, he has been very cooperative. Everything is stable as you can see. We don’t think we need to increase the dosage. However, he has been full of questions.”

“Has he, now? What do you wish to know brother?” Anil Sharma said, turning to his brother with a slightly feral grin. Letting his guard down a little now that his brother was there, Krish threw a bunch of questions. “You are right. Ordinarily, scientists don’t carry guns. But Saad is not just a scientist, that is one of the many hats he dons. Heck, I am not even sure Saad Ali is his real name. However I would suggest that you not try his patience because he can be quite unpleasant when he wishes to be. This is not just a research facility. This is a top secret Government one, we report directly to the Prime Minister. As for why we are here, I am not sure how much I should tell you but seeing as how you will be dead soon anyway…  I guess there is no harm in telling you. My lovely wife here has been working on techniques that allow us to not only access your innermost thoughts but even possibly, alter the state of your consciousness. You are here to test out our Thought Harvesting program. Whether those changes are permanent or not remains to be seen. Pretty cool, huh?” Anil said.

“Why?” Krish asked, taken aback. “We can use this to weed out potential terrorists, for one.” He said with a casual wave of his hand. “That is a violation of the citizens’ right to privacy. This is illegal. It is a violation of our fundamental rights as citizens of India!” Krish said, gasping out his words, because of the hand painfully pressing down on his shoulders as he tried to get up.

“When the safety of a billion people is at stake, there has to be some give and take” the man said, dismissively. In a small, totally defeated voice Krish asked “Why did you say that I would be dead soon? Do you plan on killing me?”

His brother shook his head and said with a sigh, “About a year ago, you were diagnosed with a terminal, incurable illness which leaves your brain in perfect condition even as the rest of your body starts to shut down. As a man from a military background who frequently suffered from PTSD, you were the perfect guinea pig to attempt Thought Harvesting on.”

The pieces started falling into place in his mind, but something that his brother said had Krish feeling a bit disoriented. “Wait, does this mean you planted false memories in my mind?” He asked Anil.

Anil tapped his nose, saying “Remember when you said that you knew Nirali? That was a false memory we planted in you. Can the memories be activated at will?” Anil asked, turning to Dr. Ali.

“It has to be done preferably when the person is asleep, else it could cause the individual to hallucinate severely, induce seizures or even death.”

“Do you think we can do it now with minimal damage to him?” Anil asked, ignoring his brother’s panic stricken expression. Dr. Ali nodded and took out a small device that looked like a pager. Activating it with his voice, he typed a few commands in. He then went over to the strange machine and turned the regulators on for multiple regions of the brain and pressed a button, sending a mild current of electricity to commence the manipulation of the memory trace, within the brain.

“Memories” flooded Krish’s mind with a startling rapidity that left him reeling.

Enneagram Woes

Hey there denizens of the internet who happen to have stumbled on to my blog, or have subscribed to it! Phew! Lengthy greeting out of the way, I can now concentrate on what I want to talk about. My inherent mistrust of people who are alive. Wait, let me clarify. I mean theories put forth by people who are alive. Death probably lends them a certain glamour and gravitas that life sorely lacks. For context, I am talking about the Enneagram Tritype theory. While I am happy that the people who put it forth are alive… I can’t help but feel a little disappointed. You might think it is great that they are, and accessible to me with the power of social media. But I happen to think a little differently. I will tell you why. Too much accessibility kills the star quality. It kills the aura of mystery and allure, laying bare before us, the man or woman. Case in point? Like when I finished American on Purpose by Craig Ferguson. Now any time I watch his show re-runs, my way of viewing them has been forever altered. I will always have context now as to what happened behind the scenes on a particular day, and sometimes… Only sometimes… Maybe things work better interpreted subjectively. Without a whole lot of backstory. Jokes for instance. The glimmer of his humour has dimmed a little, but my admiration for him has definitely gone up.

The other reason being, social media allows us to engage in (pseudo) intellectual discourse with these experts, and most of the times the conversations had via this medium lack the depth of research that goes into a painstakingly written book or article. Before you know, a certain kinship owing to the frequency of interaction has developed creating a soft bias in the mind, making one more susceptible to  buying into their theory propaganda. Despite being a person with a general proclivity towards skepticism, even I have fallen into this trap; I have been enchanted by “experts” only to realise with some gap of time and reduction in frequency, the loopholes in their explanations and understanding. That led to the inevitable disenchantment with discourse over social media about these kind of topics and more, which require much forethought and careful research before shooting off replies. After all, my generation did project work in school going through dusty tomes and spent long hours in libraries not because of some romanticism they carry, but out of necessity.

Going back to my mistrust of alive theorists, when I was taking apart the Enneagram system to try and understand it; I came upon the tritype theory which posits that each person has a head, heart and gut approach to solving problems; and how they deal with fear, shame and anger either by denying it, expressing it or repressing it. That’s a bit of an oversimplification, but Google it if you want to know more. To be honest‌, I am not sure I understood it fully myself. With every system of typology there is always the chance of fitting the fact to suit the theory and I think that might be one of my prime pet peeves about theorists alive when they apply their theories to explaining pop culture events and people. Then again, my other issue is that it wouldn’t have been in practice for long enough to have earned some modicum of respect as an established system. I am not talking about just peer approval here, but the fact that it lends the system an air of solid comfort. Like that old jumper from ten years which is soft and downy. What it might amount to is just the knee jerk response of skepticism to new theories which I must test for loopholes myself and ensure that they are fool proof. There are so many aspects added to the Tritype theory alone, that it fails to stand as an independently reliable and efficient system with practical application. A theory IMO has to be designed in an elegant and unambiguous manner that makes it easy for the motivated seeker to understand.

The Enneagram (tritype) theory suffers from a lack of consistency in that every test or  quiz online yields different results each time. These are not even results close to one another, they are wildly off and different. Given that this tests for behavioral motivation, there is no way to assess that the subject answered with a neutral frame of mind, despite their very best efforts to stay objective. Adding to this colossal pile of confusion is the fact that the Enneagram in some ways is like an invincible many headed sea serpent.  There are conflicting views, types applied with instinctual variants, phobic and counter phobic manifestations of a particular type, type fixes, and lots more… There have been times when I had to put the book away or shut my laptop down because my head actually hurt from trying to fit the pieces together in a coherent structure. Since it speaks of behavioural motivations, I think it hardly fair to limit the motivation behind the behaviour of a human being to just three aspects. This theory tries to etch out a person, creating freeze frame allowances only for the past and the present but without laying out a map for the future development of the individual. Besides, any time a supposedly scientific or even psychological theory mentions the word Holy, my skepticism just increases. Holy things have their place, and this might not be it. I may be speaking from a point of limited understanding here but if so, feel free to correct me on it.

Another explanation for why I grapple with this might be that I have a blind spot in how I perceive my Self. For unless I know myself, how can I see myself? But who am I? I am who I was, who I am and who I will be. I am also who I am not. Our cells are regenerating rapidly every single day, that we can roughly say that you are an entirely new you, every seven years. When such is the case, I think Oscar Wilde was right in saying “To define is to limit”.

Post-midnight ramblings

Am I child like because I believe in the magic of books like Harry Potter? Or took the Sorting on Pottermore somewhat seriously? Or the Patronus quiz(zes)? Are adults not allowed to want an escape hatch? A wonderful, fantasy land where good people triumph over more often than not bureaucracy, red tapism, sexism, nepotism and sometimes of course, downright evil? Or even a world, where the truth still prevails? Of course these are subtly woven into plots, and at other times, these themes are in-your-face. This isn’t exactly a Harry Potter appreciation post. I don’t know what this is. Post midnight ramblings, I guess. The day draws to a close, words jump and dance seductively before my eyes. They are keeping me from what I should be doing. Ideally. And yet here I am. I digress. What I want to say is, Harry Potter is so much more than a series of a fantasy world to me. I am not waiting for my Hogwarts letter. I am not waiting for any wizened old people to come and tell me I am special, and take me along on a grand, life changing adventure. How grand it would be, if that were the case but no.

“Adults” swallow the reality of their existence. Therefore, shouldn’t I? All we do is to try and make things tolerable. We paint them with shades of drama, humour, escapism, even draping around ourselves tightly the satin folds of faith just to be able to not open our eyes to what states us in the face. To me, identifying as a Gryffindor itself is like a label that enables me. It is the over arching themes of these books that make them so popular. It seems open to interpretation, and that’s why every person loves it. Nobody reads the same book. Not really. Gryffindor, case in point gives me the courage to be emotionally open or vulnerable, go stand up for someone (or even myself) in small, probably unnoticed ways because these acts take courage too. It is not always all fireworks a-poppin’, all guns blazin’ and diving head first into danger. Sometimes, the courageous task can be something as simple and painful as swallowing one’s pride and admitting fault or saying sorry. Or telling someone you love them. Those words can be rusty and taste foreign on your lips if you haven’t said it in a while. Not that words mean anything, if they aren’t backed up by action. Even these could mean nothing. Words. They keep getting added to the dictionary every year. Like twerk. An unfortunate development. Then there are words like courage, kindness, honesty, empathy. Success, power, money, drive, motivation. Somewhere these two paths have to converge. May be a rainbow bridge connects these two. And I am that seeker. Eternally seeking that timeless rainbow bridge that connects these two, so that somewhere in the heart of all these I can make a place to call my own. Home.

But what is home? Is it a place to kick back and unwind? Is it something to come back to? Is it a place? Is it a person? Is it a people? The arms of a lover, or the cajoling of a mother? Where is home, in the vast expanse of this timeless, limitless universe any way? Is life a testament to the defiance of the human spirit in the face of mediocrity? An attempt to transcend the basal nature of the human race, and evolve into something else entirely? Is it an endless cycle of permits and licenses, from birth till that last breath. Whatever it is, the answer has to wait till tomorrow. My thoughts start to wander, even as the eyelids start to grow heavier. I must go now.

As I look for the perfect way to close this post, the irony of that strikes me. There isn’t a perfect closing. Not always. So here it is. The ending. The search for answers however continues…