The Origin Story

This is the post excerpt.


It was a cold, wintry night in 1989. The place: Bangalore. The wind outside shrieked and howled, the room felt positively glacial at 10°C. It felt like a harbinger of the joyful event shortly to follow. It had been close to eight hours, and the woman’s brow was damp with sweat, she writhed in pain but her face was stoic, her lips drawn tightly. She was trying to think positive thoughts. Her husband was away on assignment, she clasped the cold, clammy hands of her mother, drawing no comfort from it. She looked across the room to the slightly hulking figure of her father. She found it reassuring. Everything would be okay, as long as he was there. As if he had heard her unspoken thoughts, he turned around, and said to his wife, a diminutive woman of some sartorial elegance “I will get us coffee. I pray it shouldn’t take longer.” He smiled sympathetically at his daughter, and left the room.

After many hours of torment, she was fully dilated, and her efforts were rewarded around midnight, when a loud cry was heard through the hospital floor. I had burst forth into the world.

(How do I know all this? My greatest curiosity apart from the world around me and its inhabitants is my own journey. This and more, I shall attempt to explore through this blog. It will be a collection of free verse poetry, short fiction, my musings, rants or just about anything that either strikes a chord with me emotionally, or challenges me to think about.)


The Bloody Rose

Smote by anguish
Smokescreen’s removed.
Shorn of illusion, free of delusion
The mists have lost their allure.

Now a woman,
I cannot pretend to be blind
Divided by rage
United in pain

That purest blossom
Plucked so cruelly from its being
That crown jewel of her kind
She weeps in distress.

What God won’t simmer with rage?
The world is askew on its head
Hope has been shot through the heart
How long before it is dead?

– MVK.


Happy Mother’s Day!



These nurturing hands have cradled my head when you first brought me out into this world, held me when I was in pain, hugged me and shown me affection, whacked me when I needed to be brought down a notch. These hands have worked tirelessly to provide care and love for decades. These hands create artistic and culinary magic, spreading joy wherever you go.
Happy Mother’s Day, Ma! 💕

Enneagram + MBTI Portraits – Type Four

4w3: To someone who is unaware of the internal tussle between the Four and the Three traits of a 4w3 person, it may seem like they blow hot and cold, or don’t know their own mind. This produces an emotionally deep, attention seeking introverted individual who ponders over their identity while straying from it in the pursuit of success. They want to explore emotional intensity, but only as much as Three will allow them to. Can resort to tantrum throwing, and diva like behaviour if they feel they go unacknowledged. 4w3s like Jeff Goldblum have their own unique affectations, or idiosyncrasies that they pride themselves on. There seems to be a starry conscious about them, like they know they are destined for greater things. When they suffer great setbacks or aren’t rewarded by life, their Four can spiral into intense envy, anger and jealousy. Three disintegrates to Nine, completely robbing them of all purpose and passion often driving these types at their unhealthiest levels to commit suicide. The life of 4w3s is characterized by a longing, to soar free in the limelight, be true to themselves and be adored widely. They do not recognise the importance of being loved deeply and truly. Their entire life is the pursuit of goals and adoration. When they finish their magnum opus, it feels like life might well be over for them. Often they can produce great artistic works of tremendous value, but are easily susceptible to flattery and emotional manipulation. This is the Artist‌, and the Muse. They prize recognition and popularity for their works over complete originality. They possess fear of success, and fear of failure equally in spades. So while they are shy about sharing their artistic talents with the world, they do crave the adulation that comes with it. When they evolve healthily, they are able to use their creativity to devise unique solutions that help people around them, and think in terms of collective welfare than their individual emotions.

4w5: “Alone is what I have. Alone is what protects me” might as well be the mantra of these types. These make for the purest intuitives. Their line of thinking is so far removed from the “normies”, it provides unconventional perspectives and brilliant new insights into existing systems. Extremely awkward, introverted types who prize their privacy and individuality above all else. As creators, it is their own satisfaction they seek and not to please anybody else. Elitists to the extreme, will again  the society of those who do not think worthy. This produces a bizarre fascination with all things macabre, including their love of Death. They relish the dark side of life and unabashedly plunge into the exploration of emotional intensity and their own darker urges. If they aren’t careful they can fall into reckless sensory pursuits to substitute the approval and love they crave. They will however never allow themselves to admit that fact because their Five wing makes them emotionally detached. They reject society preemptively out of a fear of being rejected, or having their deficiencies exposed publicly. As they integrate, they grow into decisive leaders who are able to take the right path.

Fours and the Perceiving function axis:

NeSi, SiNe – Tones down the natural optimism that Ne possesses. Makes it deeper and lends it shades of melancholy. Results in identity seeking through chronic comparison to others (Four + Ne). Tend to romanticize the past due to low Si not reflecting accurate factual details pertaining to the past. Low Si + Four could produce a unique fashion sense especially if impacted by a Five wing and/or so blindspot. Si/Ne would be more pessimistic about the future in anticipation. Inferior Ne + Four means they are unable to envision new possibilities, stuck firmly in a self – defeating loop of “Things will never change”.

SeNi, NiSe – Ni + Four produces a fantasizing individual, who is idealistic and reframes experiences to fit their subjective frame of reality. Often negatively. Strengthens Ni’s elitism with a heavy emphasis on differences from others based on creative output. They will pride themselves on exquisite taste. They will learn more towards indie artists and movies, revel in it like they are privy to some secret society of distinguished individuals. Four dampens the influence of Se, and cramps Se’s style. Se + Four equals a great eye for beauty and aesthetics. With a four wing, it produces very offbeat taste in fashion, but the Five wing produces an “until they invent a darker colour than black” kind of wardrobe with dramatic emphasis on portraying themselves as outsiders. A great example of a 4w5’s sense of dressing can be seen or Jughead Jones in CW’s Riverdale.

Fours and the Judging function axis:

FiTe, TeFi – Reinforces all the Four stereotypes. Moody. Melancholy. Dramatic. Creative. Strong emphasis on identity being unique from everyone else. Can throw blunt Te smackdowns while lashing out at unmet Four needs. Otherwise, Te is quite weak over all because the Four submerges itself in its emotional states and productivity comes to a halt. This runs quite counter to the nature of Te, which is coldly rational, blunt and focused on efficiency. A Three wing might slightly improve follow-through with creative endeavours.

FeTi, TiFe – Weak Ti unless bolstered by a Five wing. Produces shades of fake Fi, however their emotional expression is still something they struggle with. They wouldn’t vocalize emotions like a regular Fe user who doesn’t have a Four in their wing/fix/tritype because they deem these emotions extremely unique and personal to them. Also they would feel these so intensely, the intensity of it wouldn’t be able to be adequately expressed. In a TiFe user, Four may manifest as intellectual snobbery, while also making them extremely sensitive to any perceived attacks on their intelligence, logical reasoning etc. That is when TiFe users look to their social circles for affirmation about their intellectual capabilities. It produces great thinkers with an aesthetic bent of mind.

Enneagram + MBTI Portraits – Type Three

3w2: Warm, charming and gregarious. They know how to work a room. Their sense of Self is rooted in their idealized self. That is to say, their projected outward self is what they internalize as their idea of themselves. In extreme cases, the disparity between who they want to be and who they are can be so great that it leads to total emptiness, even though they may seem like winners in the eyes of the world. Many successful politicians are type Threes (especially 3w2s). At their best, they can be motivational speakers who will be inspiring their audience while regaling them with tales that may seem too good to be true. You know what? That could well be the case. They wouldn’t mind using a little bit of chicanery if that might get them the social admiration and approval that they so desperately seek, in order to fill the void inside them left by a constant pursuit of material goals over a true sense of self worth and self identity. They plaster on their brightest smiles, and go about giving to people while making sure that they get a good photo – op or a shot for their Instagram/ social media page. Emotional processing and awareness is weak, and slow. As unhealthy individuals while disintegrating, they fall into utter passivity and destructive, manipulative behaviour. When they start to evolve healthily, they are no longer self promoting narcissists. Their focus expands outwardly to the collective welfare of groups they care about, becoming truly service oriented rather than just putting up a show. They shed the Golden Boy/Girl facade and cultivate their emotionally honest, unique and authentic personas.

3w4: The cool, smooth talking professional. They turn challenges into opportunities. More introverted of the Threes, their identity is largely shaped by what they do. In extreme cases, they have no identity independent of their work. This combination presents quite a few contrarian traits because of the deeply contrasting natures of Three and Four. Three is all about mirroring for approval, while Fours care most about being true to themselves even if that means that they are treated like outcasts. They struggle between emotional expression, and repressing it in favour of putting on a smooth, competent front. It could often be the case that they shut down in public and present a front, while they go home and get overwhelmed by their true feelings coming to the fore. There is a tendency towards dark romanticism of their struggles in order to glorify their present position. Apart from lapsing into total inertia like unhealthy Nines while disintegrating, they also can show uncharacteristically needy, clingy and attention seeking behaviour as their Four wing falls to a Two. In the direction of growth they are moralistic community leaders who strive to do the right thing.

Threes and the Perceiving function axis:

NeSi, SiNe – In ENxPs, Three tends to make them more extroverted, more ambitious and dynamic taskmasters working to bring their Ne visions to life. Business minded folk, they will always know what the best way to monetize a certain idea would be. They will network themselves, and promote their idea well. On the flipside, this can make them extremely attention seeking and have an inflated self image further feeding into Ne’s delusions. Under all this bravado lies a deep seated insecurity and fear that they are worthless or not good enough. Hence they need people to tell them otherwise. High Si users/ ISxJs influenced by Three are more ambitious, less introverted and more prone to taking (calculated) risks professionally.

SeNi, NiSe – Makes ESxPs highly image conscious, flashy and acutely business minded. They market themselves well. They are the best representation of their idea, so they prefer to keep themselves at the peak of their physique,  and groom themselves with care. In INxJs, it brings about a bolder, more ambitious flavour. They use their NiSe to achieve those expansive targets with meticulous long range planning, and equipping themselves to act with immediacy where needed.

Threes and the Judging function axis:

FiTe, TeFi – Weakened Fi and stronger Te. Brings a disconnect with self, and poor emotional awareness. Strong workaholic tendencies, can claim professional victories at the cost of their personal happiness.

FeTi, TiFe – Emotional expression is regulated by social appropriation. TiFe users can seek constant assurance of their intelligence, and when they suffer setbacks they will fall back on their social popularity in order to regain their sense of self worth. FeTi users can be highly gregarious, charming and manipulative. Potential to be dangerous players with no internal reference point such as a conscience or moral framework to adhere to. Likely to fake acquiescence in order to gain entry into coveted social circles of their choosing.

Enneagram + MBTI Portraits – Type Two

Author’s note: I have deliberately termed this as the Image centre although it is also known as the heart centre. The words “heart centre” can be extremely misleading to someone who is just starting to learn the Enneagram system. Relationships are complex, messy and hard to interpret. They are consistently inconsistent, so looking to our relationship behaviours and emotional processing alone will cause many to trip up while trying to figure out their tritype or where they lead from, in the Image centre.  Most importantly it is about how the sense of shame, identity manifest internally/externally while presenting oneself to the world, and themselves.

2w1: Helpful busybodies, they take pride in caretaking and being there for someone. They appear sweet, loving and giving but it is important to remember that this is their defense mechanism against anticipatory rejection. To make themselves invaluable so people would feel hard pressed to cut them out of their lives. Sense of self is oriented externally, defined by the roles they take on in service of other people while being guided by a One – ish sense of integrity, and morals. At their healthy best while moving from Two to Four, they are creative individuals who acknowledge the need to honour the individuality of others and give them space rather than to smother them with love. They are also able to communicate their own needs and seek help from their loved ones. They are able to appreciate being in the moment, and incorporate new perspectives as their One wing moves to Seven. When unhealthy, they become manipulative, resentful and vengeful in their interpersonal relationships. They lash out from a sense of entitlement, and tend to wallow in their woes. Most religious leaders/heads of non – profit organizations share this archetype. Caregiving and compassion, flavoured by morals and preaching corrective behavior.

2w3:  The Three wing makes these people more extroverted. They are excellent hosts and hostesses. They are perceived as warm and genuinely charming. Betty Cooper across most iterations is a 2w3. They not only wish to do good, but they want to be admired and appreciated for it. Not being given due credit will make them feel resentful and lash out passive aggressively towards their loved ones. They may even try to manipulate or guilt their loved ones in order to punish them. As they grow healthier, along with the previously mentioned Two moving towards Four, the Three healthily sheds its narcissism and brings with it a focus on the welfare of the community as a healthy Six would.

Twos and the Perceiving function axis:

SiNe, NeSi – In Si users, there is a conditional element of adherence attached to caregiving. It can cause one to become rather clingy out of fear. In Ne users, it softens the frenzied edge and brings about a more warm, loving bent to them. High Ne users try to get their loved ones involved in a dynamic exchange of ideas and discussing perspectives. Prone to using ideas to problem solve with a focus on meeting others’ emotional needs.

SeNi, NiSe – As with Ne users, it slows the Se user down and makes them more loving. It brings more of a focus on other people and their emotional needs, rather than having to live in the moment. They try to bring in their loves ones to share experiences as their way of expressing love. SeNi users will take the time out of their packed schedules to listen to the distress of loved ones and comfort them, thereby showing them how much they value them. Ni users will use the two ish approach to understand, predict and meet their loved ones’ emotional needs before they are even articulated. On the flipside, Ni users will use this knowledge of people, and the Two ish comforting nature to establish psychological dominion over their loved ones.

Twos and the Judging function axis:

FiTe, TeFi – Renders a fake shade of Fe to this axis. These Fi users will be more service oriented, and even more likely to suppress their emotional expression in lieu of meeting others’ emotional requirements or seek not burden others with their emotional needs. Te will want to maintain self – reliance, and not ask loved ones for help. Softens high Te users, and makes them more actively oriented towards caring for others. Almost likely to flip out and exhibit controlling tendencies if their loved ones try to assert their independence, because they will perceive that as no longer being needed which is just a step away from their greatest fear: Not being needed/ being replaced.

FeTi, TiFe – Strengthens the Fe, even lower Fe users can appear to be better equipped at handling situations that require the usage of this function. IxFJs will use their tertiary Ti to analyze the Fe needs of people, and meet them in the manner through which  their dominant function manifests. Such as an Ni foreseeing emotional expectations, and meeting them; or an Si user using a tried and tested to provide comfort. Whether it be Jane Bennet from the Lizzie Bennet Diaries offering tea or Mrs. Weasley pumping everyone’s stomachs with delicious food. Also, enhanced manipulative tendencies because of their relative ease of reading people and how they can get people to open up to them. TiFe users will take care not to step on toes while expressing opinions, be protective and show this through openly taking up cudgels on behalf of their loved ones. More likely to use high Ti, in service of solving issues in order to help out people.


Enneagram + MBTI Portraits – Type Nine

And now, for the last one in the gut centre. Type Nine.

9w8: Calm individuals who will have a smiling face and pleasing disposition till they are angered. Things can happen so quickly, the object of their anger will be surprised at the strength of anger contained within that seeming easy-going individual. They are more likely to be roused to anger, when their friends or loved ones are disrespected or hurt because Nines commonly practice self-erasure. Healthy individuals of the type are able to stay focused, get out of their passivity and care for individuals as well as be responsive to emotional needs. Unhealthy individuals will go into total shut down mode acting like an unhealthy, fearful Six and withdraw to hoard knowledge/resources like a Five.

9w1: The main difference between the 9w8 and the 9w1 is in what triggers their anger. The former may erupt in order to reinforce boundaries, or protect loved ones; the latter will be roused to anger quickly when they come upon some injustice. The former does not regret their explosive anger when it finally happens, but the latter feels some regret/guilt if they think such behavior was inappropriate (and they usually do).

Nines and the Perceiving function axis:

Nine softens the frenzied and energetic expression of high extroverted functions (Ne/Se) whereas in case of individuals who lead with introverted functions (Si/Ni) there is a danger of total denial of self expression, in order to merge with one’s environment or to avoid conflict and discord. There can be a tantalizing hint of a spark and something fierce hidden behind the curtains of a Nine with an Eight wing. A One wing produces a calm, headstrong individual who will just shut down upon outraged, or having their boundaries breached.

Nines and the Judging function axis:

Fi/Te / TeFi: These folk pride themselves on promoting peace, love and harmony. They take the moral high road which is why when they are outraged, the offenders better run for cover. Their Te expression is muted, especially where it comes to the expression of anger. Rather than punish someone, they are more likely to look for harmonic solutions. These people believe an eye for an eye will make the whole world go blind. They will take the fight forward if nobody else offers to or is capable of it (8) or if it is the right thing to do (1).

FeTi / TiFe: There is a complete and total denial of their own emotional needs while orienting themselves wholly towards meeting others’ emotional needs so they can gain group acceptance. Ti is fairly weak, because they would eschew dissent on logical grounds if it will create conflict. High Ti users will use Nine to consolidate dissenting ideas to improvise and create newer, bigger ones (8) that will incorporate the best elements of all the pre-existing ones, and result in an overall betterment of the system (1). Fe is marginally better with an Eight wing, even though the acknowledge and expression will still be quite average.

Enneagram + MBTI Portraits – Type Eight

We started with the gut centre and are done with One. Now moving on to Eight.

8w7: Devil-may-care attitude. The renegade. These individuals view power as a means of maintaining their autonomy and not as a means of influence. This is not the kind of anger that lasts long. After externalized expressions of anger and conflict, they buy a round of drinks and expect everything to be okay. They are so charming, unpretentious and direct that this approach actually ends up working for them. Bold, innovative and fearless folk. May have trouble with commitment in relationships. Addictive personalities. Crave sensory stimulants to feel alive. Likely to run into trouble with law and authority figures. When they evolve, they tend to focus their expansive, direct energy to care for people. They can be incredibly warm, gregarious and perceptive people. Unhealthy, they withdraw fearfully and retreat into inaction till they feel they equipped with all the knowledge to act in real world situations. They can be extra hard on themselves at their perceived inability to do so.

8w9: Amass power quietly. Gravitate towards positions of leadership. Protective and assertive. Their anger lasts longer than that of an 8w9. It is more of a simmering rage that can take a while to explode. The rumbling of the storm will be heard long before it hits, so the dazed individual who is hit cannot pretend they didn’t see it coming. For this very reason, Eights are very conscious of their anger and power; they tightly reign it in until some idiot pushes back the boundaries one too many times. Even younger individuals of this type are looked upon with favor and respect because of the quiet strength they exude when they enter a room. When healthy, these individuals will be calm, bold, focused and productive while unhealthy individuals spiral into paranoia and suffer inertia induced by analysis-paralysis.

Eights and the Perceiving function axis:

NeSi / SiNe: Marked defiance towards Si adherence. Ne has a more pragmatic tilt. Ne visions to come to fruition. In high Si individuals, this makes them more daring and quick to act in the moment (7) or react slowly with measured spurts of anger (9) when they encounter opposition.

Se/Ni / Ni/Se: Strengthened Se makes them adrenaline junkies. In high Ni users, it makes them quick to act/react without being trapped in their minds for too long, which is a common issue with high Ni which seeks to internalize, analyze data and then act conclusively. Makes INXJs more extroverted (7). Makes INXJs excellent planners, with a focus on promoting shared, universal values (9).

Eights and the Judging function axis:

FiTe / TeFi: This combination will strengthen the punitive streak to crush defiance and rule with an iron fist, if need be. It will also bring about an uninhibited and direct expression of Fi outrage in clear Te terms, without mincing words. A Nine wing may soften the blow. Otherwise, these individuals firmly believe in retribution rather than forgiveness. (I think one or both of my grandfathers were probably this type, which explains so much of our dynamics in my formative years.)

FeTi / TiFe: Fe expression is all about the power dynamics. If they are the ones giving the care and attention, they believe themselves to have the upper hand. Not able to immerse themselves in the joy of receiving care and allowing themselves to be emotionally vulnerable and share feelings with their loved ones. Higher Ti users may be mistaken for Te users because of similarity in superficial presentation. These TPs may appear rude, blunt, cocky and inconsiderate because of weaker Fe. May turn intellectual discussions into an aggressive debate or argument, inviting defiance from opposition. They will do it for fun (7), or to unanimously establish themselves as the alpha (9). However, when an adversary of equal strength bests them on the grounds of merit, they will respect that and concede.